He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
