Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
