i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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