i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize