Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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