i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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