May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
