The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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