Just fell off a train. Bad.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize