I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
