I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
