I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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