i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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