And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Buhtt sex?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
