I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
