its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
