Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
