I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize