It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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