Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
