No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
