Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
