she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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