omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
