It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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