508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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