Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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