Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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