Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if only i could text you this smell
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
