I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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