He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
