Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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