what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I AM VODKA MAN
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize