I want to stick my p in your. b.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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