He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
