I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
