I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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