so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My dick has a subreddit
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
