Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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