I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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