took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
