I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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