well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
