Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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