his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
