i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
