I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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