Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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