just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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