I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize