gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
