I bet he comes in French.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize