My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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