Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
