sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
