Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
