He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize