well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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