god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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