it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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