This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
