Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
