I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
