I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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