in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
