Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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