I just pynch a tree in the face
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
