what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
