She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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