you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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