Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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