she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Two words: blizzard sex
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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