glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
