he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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