Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
